🎪 Step Right Up... It’s XeqityZ! 🤡
Hey hey hey! I'm XeqityZ — part-time clown, full-time enjoyer of peaceful forest strolls and dangerously attractive older women.
🎈 Talents & Interests
- 📸 Nature photography (with the occasional squirrel photobomb)
- 🎮 Video games (if I lose, it’s part of the act)
- 🍰 Baking — my secret ingredient is chaos
- 📚 Manga — the sillier the plot, the better
- 🎭 Clowning — emotionally and professionally
🌹 Deep Thoughts from a Painted Soul
"Even a clown has quiet days. I just spend mine under a tree with cookies."
🤔 FAQ
Q: Are you a professional clown?
A: Yes. And no. It’s a state of mind.
Q: Why older women?
A: Because they honk my heart horn.
Q: Do you do birthday parties?
A: Only if there’s cake. And emotional support dogs.
💸 Gig Prices (I don't do it for the money... clearly)
- 🎉 Birthday Party Appearance: $12 and a slice of cake
- 🎭 Interpretive Clown Performance: $8/hour + leftover cupcakes
- 🐕 Emotional Support Balloon Animal: $3 (free with genuine eye contact)
- 🍰 Clown Bakes You a Cookie Live on Zoom: $6 (BYO flour)
- 🎈 Existential Balloon Twisting Session: Pay what your soul can offer
🎟️ Real Prices (If You're Actually Booking Me)
- 🎉 Standard Party Gig (2 hours): $70
- 🎭 Custom Themed Performance: $90+ depending on prep and costume needs
- 🍰 Clown-Themed Baking Event: $60 (you provide the ingredients)
- 🎈 Balloon Twisting Station (kids party style): $50/hr
- 📸 Nature Clown Photoshoot Add-On: $25 extra (yes, I’ll juggle in a meadow)
Serious inquiries only — clowning is fun, but gas isn't free.
Thanks for juggling your time to visit! 🎉